About Her

I'm not really good at writing things like this, but somehow I want to write about her.

I've never been the type of guy who talks too much about his feelings. I usually keep things simple and just show it when I can. But with her, I don't know... somehow there are a lot of things I want to say.

I know she likes flowers. I know she likes watching Chibi Maruko Chan. I know she likes chikuro. Maybe those things sound simple, but I remember them. I think when you really care about someone, you just remember the little things without even trying.

She can be stubborn. She can be ngambek. Sometimes she gets annoyed over small things and I'm just sitting there thinking, "Okay... what did I do this time?" wkwkwk. Sometimes I really don't know, but yaudah, that's her.

And honestly, I like those parts of her too.

We've had so many little moments together that probably look silly to other people, but somehow they became some of my favorite memories. There were times when I did something careless and she got mad at me. Sometimes she even said she was starting to get "ketularan" because of me. Maybe she was right. I can be a little careless sometimes.

She calls me Pak Gendut. Not exactly the nickname every guy dreams of hearing, but sometimes she also says I'm ganteng, so I guess we're good hahaha.

She always tells me to diet. And do I always listen? Of course not.

There was that one night when I ate bubur late at night and she immediately started ngomel. I was just eating bubur, but somehow it became a whole discussion about my diet. I knew she was annoyed, but at the same time, I knew she was just worried about me.

Driving with her is another story.

There is always a comment when I'm driving. Too fast, too close, watch this, watch that. Sometimes I just listen and think, "Yes ma'am." But when she drives in Jakarta and finally gives up and lets me take over, suddenly I'm the driver she trusts again. So I guess we're even.

Sometimes she calls or video calls me, but instead of talking to me, she gives the phone to her cat and tells me to talk to it. Like... what am I supposed to say to your cat? "How was your day?" I still don't understand why she does that, but somehow I still talk to the cat anyway.

Then there are the little things about food.

At first, I didn't always remember what she wanted. But after being together for a while, I started to know. Coffee without sugar. Potatoes, not too salty. And more cheese. Somehow I started remembering those things without even asking.

Maybe that's what happens when you spend enough time with someone. You slowly learn their little habits without realizing it.

We also like going around looking for food. One place after another, trying this, trying that, then giving our ratings like we're Chef Juna and Chef Renatta. Sometimes the food is just okay, but somehow we talk about it like we're judging a cooking competition and the whole restaurant is waiting for our final rating.

I also somehow became the victim whenever she wanted a good photo. I'm not a photographer, but apparently that doesn't matter. If the photo isn't good, somehow I'm the one to blame.

"Kamu gimana sih motoinnya, bete aku."

I can still imagine her saying that. And honestly, sometimes she's right. I really am not that good at taking photos.

We've also had our fair share of almost being late moments. Sometimes we were almost late to an event, sometimes we almost missed our transportation, ngibrit bareng and trying to catch our breath just to make it on time. Somehow, we always made it. Capek, ngos-ngosan, but somehow it was fun. I think it was the first time being late actually felt this fun wkwkwk. Maybe that's one of the funny things about us, even when things don't go as planned, we still somehow make a good memory out of it.

And then there are her random songs.

Sometimes she'll just change the lyrics of a song and make it about me. She has her own versions of songs from Rizky Febian and Adrian Khalif, and somehow she can turn a normal song into something completely ridiculous.

Like, "Kalau ada sembilan Azmi...."

I dont even know where she gets these ideas from. But those random little moments are exactly the kind of things that stay in my head.

That's what I like about us.

Not just the big moments, but the stupid little ones. The jokes, the arguments, the food, the late nights, the random calls, the driving, the photos, the almost late moments, and even the moments when she was angry at me for something I probably deserved.

I don't want her to always be perfect. I like her when she's happy, when she's tired, when she's being cute, and even when she's ngambek with me. Sometimes she can make me a little crazy, but I guess that's part of loving someone. Kalau semuanya gampang, ya bukan hubungan namanya.

I like having someone I can talk to after a long day. Someone whose messages I still wait for, even when I act like I don't. And sometimes I just look at her and think, "How did I get this lucky?"

I'm not always good at saying what I feel. Sometimes I stay quiet because I don't know how to say it. But that doesn't mean I don't care. I notice more than I say. I remember more than she probably knows.

I remember the little things about her. The things she likes, the way she laughs, the way she talks when she's excited, even the small things she probably forgets five minutes later. Entah kenapa gua malah inget.

Maybe that's what makes her special to me.

She's not perfect, and neither am I. We have our own moods, our own stubbornness, and sometimes we don't understand each other. But at the end of the day, she's still the person I want to talk to, the person I want to see, and the person I want beside me.

I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't know where life will take us. But right now, I'm happy that she's here.

Out of all the people I could have met, somehow I met her.

And honestly, I'm really glad I did.

So if she ever reads this, I hope she knows one thing.

I see the little things.

I remember them.

And I choose her.

Still her.

Always her.